This is where the third virtue in the Serenity Prayer comes in. “Stop trying to control how you feel, and instead take control of what you can do” Russ Harris, one of the key thinkers in the practice of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), states: Fighting with something only gives it more power over you. These thoughts only serve to strengthen the anxiety. “I can’t feel this way!… I need to feel happy… oh no, am I getting anxious!?” If you find yourself spinning out of control, fighting with your anxiety is also counterproductive. Instead, it can further entrench the problem by putting us into a state of anxiety rather than a state of serenity.Īlthough anxiety does help keep us safe by maintaining high alert for threats, it is no longer useful when spinning out of control. Worrying about things outside of our control does not actually help solve the problem. “…worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.” Mary Schmich illustrates this when she states : A state of anxiety pulls us into not accepting reality as it is and trying to change it through constant worrying. We spend a lot of our lives worrying about things outside our control. In the Serenity Prayer, acceptance means letting go of things outside of your control. The first step in developing serenity is acceptance. Although it takes work, the Serenity Prayer gives us direction on how to develop it. Learning to adopt a serene perspective takes practice. “Learning to sit with ambiguity can be a very important start at a life liberated from anxiety-and the way to do it is to resist the urge to chase answers to questions that may actually be unanswerable.” Wilson in the book, Things Might Go Terribly, Horribly Wrong: With practice, we can approach uncertain situations through the mental lens of serenity.Īs described by Kelly G. The world does not need to be perfect to have mental clarity. Like anxiety, serenity is a perspective through which you view the world. Serenity is a state of mental calm and clarity, where you feel at peace in the present moment, able to focus on what matters.īeing in a state of serenity is the opposite of a state of anxiety.Īnxiety pulls you out of the present moment, clouding your mind with thoughts of the past, and worries about the future. Serenity comes from the root, serene, meaning calm, tranquil, peaceful, and clear/ unclouded. Serenity is the first virtue mentioned in the Serenity Prayer and is presented as the primary goal. Let’s take a closer look at the meaning of these virtues from the Serenity Prayer and how you can apply them to your own life. The Serenity Prayer is based on four virtues: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Written by the American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, It is most commonly quoted as the following: Let’s take a look at the Serenity Prayer, itself. It also means being able to know when things are within your control and when things are beyond your control. The Serenity Prayer means letting go of situations beyond your control and taking action toward things within your control. What is the meaning of the Serenity Prayer? If you or someone you know is struggling, check out my resource page for suggestions on how to find help. It is useful for persons in recovery from addiction, but also for anyone struggling with situations beyond their control. The Serenity Prayer is packed full of meaning and psychologically validated wisdom in just a few short lines. Although I was raised Roman Catholic and still practice occasionally, I appreciate the depth of the Serenity Prayer from a psychological perspective. Lately, I’ve been thinking about the meaning of the Serenity Prayer. On the go? Listen to the audio version of the article here:
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